Why I became a ‘glimmer hunter’

And how it helps with the hard days

Not to state the obvious, but we are living in challenging times. From the climate crisis that’s hanging over all our heads like a debt we cannot pay to the carnage of ongoing wars and atrocities around the world – it’s grim out there. Add to that, the increasing cost of living, societal issues with violence, the list goes on.

And on.

With the world seemingly going to hell in a hand basket, it’s hard for even the most stoic among us, not to occasionally despair.

Despair, as defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is an “utter loss of hope”. As anyone who’s been in the ‘depths of despair’ can attest, it’s a pretty miserable space to exist. For me personally, the existential threat posed by global warming and the future planet my kids will inherit has me teetering on the edge of despair more often than I’d like to admit.

That said, I’ve been wondering lately, if despair is the absolute loss of hope, is there a way to purposely cultivate hope? Hope in our hearts, yes, but also hope in our physical bodies – our nervous systems in particular.

This is where ‘glimmers’ come in.

I’m not a doctor or a psychologist or any kind of qualified health/medical practitioner. I am, however, a freelance writer who’s spent quite a lot of time sitting with the concept of glimmers, beginning almost a year ago when I wrote a story on the subject for ABC Australia. So, what I’m speaking to now is based on my personal experience with glimmers along with the related research I’ve done around it.

Wait. What even are ‘glimmers’?

Okay, so the most common way glimmers are described is the opposite of triggers. Whereas triggers are cues of danger that activate our fight or flight stress response, glimmers are any kind of feeling, sensation or encounter that calm us or bring about a sense of optimism or joy. In doing so, they activate our parasympathetic nervous system. Basically, glimmers signal to our bodies that we are safe.

The term itself was coined by Deb Dana, an American clinician, in her 2018 book Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation. Dana uses glimmers in her work treating patients with complex trauma.

What are some examples of glimmers?

Just as different things trigger different people, so it goes with glimmers – they’re unique to everyone. Some examples of mine include:

• Making someone laugh.

• Witnessing my kids be kind to each other of their own free will.

• Glimpsing the ocean (from any proximity).

• Impromptu dancing.

• In traffic, when someone does the ‘after you’ palm sweep gesture and lets you cut in. Then inversely, when you do the same for another driver and they give you a wave of ‘thanks’.

I’ve also noticed that as the seasons change, so too do my glimmers. For example, in Australia (where I’m based), it’s currently winter so a lot of my glimmers at the moment are centred around warmth. For example:

• Sinking into a warm bath on a cold night.

• Wrapping your hands around a steaming hot cup of tea.

• Pulling on a cosy knit on a chilly morning.

As you can see, some of these are oddly specific while at the same time being utterly unremarkable events. They’re just tiny, micro-moments of any given day. And this, in my opinion, is where the real beauty of glimmers lies.

Tuning in to glimmers

I love this quote and think about it often in relation to glimmers. In our fast-paced, frantic lives which have got many of us living in a constant state of fight or flight, glimmers are easy to miss. However, once you know what they are and when you consciously go looking for them each day a couple of interesting things happen:

1)    You can’t help but look at the world around you a little more kindly. This is because glimmers challenge our in-built negativity bias – an evolutionary survival strategy that has our brains constantly scanning for potential threats. When we consciously give more attention to positive experiences, we begin to blunt the impact of the negativity bias.

2)    You cope a bit better. As someone prone to anxiety, I’ve found that focussing on glimmers and savouring the little things in life makes it somewhat easier to handle the rough patches when they come along.

As clinical psychologist, Tamara Cavenett, told ABC, "Glimmers bring a sense of safety and connectedness that we often miss when we're rushing about. When we're scared or emotional, glimmers make us feel we can cope."

3)    You feel more hopeful. In despairing times and situations when it feels like everything is going wrong, hope can be hard to find. These tiny moments however – a great cup of coffee or a kind word from a stranger – can be the one thing in a day that feels like it’s going right, and that can make a world of difference to your mental state and your nervous system.

And the best part about all this is that it doesn’t cost you anything or require you to do anything other than to slightly adjust the lens in which you are viewing the world.

The sky, late spring, last year: total glimmer (for me).

Becoming a ‘glimmer hunter’

Having been on the lookout for glimmers for almost a year now, these are my top tips for getting started with your own glimmer search.

1. Notice it, name it: Every time you come across even the tiniest of pleasant moments in life, e.g. perfectly cooked eggs, a friend sending you a meme that makes you smile, hearing the song that you’re currently obsessed with come on the radio etc. recognise it and call it what it is: a glimmer.

2. Know your go-to glimmers. Once you're more aware of glimmers in a general sense, you’ll start seeing patterns in the ones that come up for you regularly. I like to think of these as my go-to glimmers.

   For me, sunshine is a recurring theme. E.g. the feeling of warm sun on your back, getting into a sun-drenched car when it’s cold out. Now that I know this, when I’m feeling a bit blah, I’ll intentionally put myself in the way of one of my go-to glimmers. For example, I’ll sit by a sunny window to eat my lunch or I’ll find the sunniest spot at the playground to stand while watching my kids play. Without fail, I always feel some degree better afterwards.

3. Share them with others. Friends, family, strangers on the internet – the more glimmers, the better. One of my favourite things about glimmers is their snowball effect. The more you notice, the more you see and sharing them with others compounds this even further. I’ve found that even just hearing other people’s glimmers is a glimmer.

I think it’s worth adding that glimmer hunting isn’t about promoting a form of toxic positivity – obviously terrible things happen, the trauma of which is very real. It’s more about retraining your brain to seek out the positive so that when you inevitably find yourself in those dark places you have some tiny shred of goodness to cling to. Because sometimes, it’s those micro glimmers of hope, of humour, of happiness, of humanness that keep us going.

You tell ‘em!

No seriously, please tell me, Em, what you think about glimmers. Do you have any glimmers you’d like to share? Or is there anything else related (or not) that you’re currently sitting with and would like to get off your chest? Feel free to let me know in the comments below or over on Instagram! Xx